Accelerate the motion of life
The banks of the river have fled astern
The wide sea predestined
As flashes in the drowning mind
Those vivid memories
Laughter and love
The injuries received
and bestowed
The blessings discovered
Like crayfish beneath glistening grey rocks
In the bright brook of childhood
Yeilded to the river at last
And on we go for the shore is no more
But the wide ocean sea
Commands our future
Raise the sails and head eastward
Into the heart of the misty sun

Today we celebrate the arrival 387 years ago of some brave souls on the rough coastline of Plymouth Mass. Although the continent was most surely visited by Vikings around 1000 years ago and had been seen and perhaps even scouted in the west by Chinese sailors around 1421, formally discovered in 1492 by Christopher Columbus, yet only one settlement, Jamestown had been established only 13 years before the landing at Plymouth.

We should wonder what these folk thought and knew about America. First, they knew that there were inhabitants here. They wore furs and feathers; they moved silently in the wood, they were an unknown quantity. The plundering Vikings of 400 years previous were less mysterious and more civilized. America had to be a savage land to them, untamed and perhaps untamable. No permanent settlements with the exception of Jamestown had been established in this new world to date, although there had been attempts. They most certainly knew that less than 20 years before the Roanoke colony disappeared utterly with only a cryptic message graven upon a scorched tree.

We should remember that there were no settlements, no cities, no towns, no blacksmith shops, no farms, no general stores...there was nothing but undifferentiated wilderness on the continent. A forest of varying species of hardwoods stretched from Florida into Canada and from the seashore to the western banks of the Mississippi. The mountains we live in so comfortably now were clad in dense dark chestnut forests, their passes not yet expanded by industry and machine. It would be 177 years before Asheville became a primitive outpost and nearly another 100 years before the arrival of the railroad made it a real town.

There would be no help from the England they left. There would be nothing here that they did not grow or make themselves. The struggle would be immense, 45 of 104 colonists died the first winter, only 4 of the adult women were alive for the first Thanksgiving in July of 1621, when the supply ship arrived from England. Jamestown had fared no better in their first winter when 80% of the 500 colonists starved to death.

These colonists had to know that their chances were not all that good. They must have feared the natives, the wilderness (these folk were from European cities, not wilderness areas), wild animals, and most of all they had to fear the long winters. They did not begin establishing the settlement until December of 1620. Only 7 residences of 19 planned and 4 common houses were built during the first winter. Due to bad weather the first common house was begun only 2 days before Christmas 1620.

I'm not sure any of us today can fully realize what these brave souls had to endure. Need a new pair of shoes...you’d have to make them? Hungry? Hope your garden was productive or else go shoot something...If you ran out of ammo, you'd have to melt down lead for musket balls. Pioneers do not go on vacation; they had no entertainments that they could not devise for themselves. Even books were rare commodities and limited in scope.

Yet through all these trials the soul of a nation was being forged. It would be a nation that would be based on religious freedom, tolerance and representative government. These are things we should be thankful for and these are things we should defend and cherish.

Which way to Eden: a Koan

It occurs to me that this is heaven.  Paul in his letters insists that we now see as through a glass darkly.  Why is the glass dark.?  What does a dark glass show us?  A dark glass is a mirror.  It reveals to us our own reflection.  Mirrors are brighter renditions of this, but they too are impenetrable for all we can see within a mirror is ourselves.  When we cease to experience ourselves there are no darkened glasses. 

CS Lewis once indicated that those who found themselves in hell would proclaim that their lives had always been hell, and those finding themselves in paradise would likewise say that paradise began long before they entered heaven.  Thus we see that it is indeed our own perception that so villainously deceives us, as we already reside in the paradise we so ardently seek.  We simply overlook the obvious, the background in the mirror is paradise and we are the distraction. 

If we can learn to see beyond ourselves, erase our ego selves from the picture we would see the world as it truly is...a wanderers paradise.  A place where compassion, joy and curiosity join and mingle...a place where we as fellow travelers have the choice to experience the greater joy of losing ourselves within the great journey of life. 

Perhaps the phenomenal world as we know it is simply some kind of program that the Almighty has set into motion. It is designed as a crucible to harrass, mold, purify and enlighten us. How well it works is up to us. It can twist us into uselessness, weakness and folly, or if we will be enlightened, it can purify, strengthen and mold us into something which we are not yet, but something for which the possibility exists within us.

Miracles as we know them are simply tweaks in the program, the Almighty fixing a small thing here and there to make the end result inevitable.

We should view our problems as lessons, our woes as redemption, our sorrows as a window to understanding the fears, pain, and sadness of the other beings around us.

Yet the world is a bright place, as full of beauty and wonder as it is full of horror and suffering. We should take that brightness and use it to light up the dark corners in our lives and the lives of others.

Interesting article on Science as Religion.

Posted elsewhere to a friend, but it is a sufficient musing unto itself

I remember when I realized the fact that everything blows away...kind of like dandilion seeds...seemingly lost to the wind. It is a most painful realization, and its onset caused a lot of changes for me: I quit drinking (yep, still not drinking, but I'm not self-righteous about it...just my call, and it's done me no harm, and a world of good); I began preparing for a divorce (which was an inevitability, I had just been unable to realize it); I reconnected with my friends and family; I began spending more time with my kid; I started gardening, therapy, and, as it came to me at the time, I decided it was time to put down my cross, brush the splinters out of my hands and move on.

I have since been very happy in a new marriage, new home and additional family. I kept my kid, house and other things I thought sure I'd lose, and although no one is likely to remember me several generations after I've passed, I know I've made a difference with my kids, and I stopped taking life like a bitter pill, and began living it. I also stopped taking everyone's crap, made my own decisions, and took responsibility for them. Not that every decision has proved the best, nor has every right decision been trouble-free, but they were not the path of least resistance.

Somewhere along the way I realized I was sweeping the ocean back with a broom; everything you do has a large element of maintainence and has to be done again and again. Permanant is like perfection, if it exists it isn't here. I began to realize that what we do is act as anti-entropic agents. The world is constantly changing and entropy is going on, the house next door is falling down because nobody is stopping it from doing so. There must be some good reason we all act as anti-entropic agents...perhaps because that is what we are. We try to keep things together for our kids, for ourselves, for a posterity we will not see, and we become very dismayed when we see the neighbors house falling down, partially because it validates the futility of sweeping back the ocean, partially because that's where all the mice hang out, I don't know.

Everything changes but inside we are all the same people we were 20 years ago, older yes, wiser maybe, but some things remain. Friends I haven't seen for 15 years are still my friends, were still glad to be my friends, and were ready to restart those friendships right were they left off when the world got too busy for us.

I think what I'm trying to say is that entropy continues outside, but within we do have some control over the erosion, in fact barring alzheimers or other memory stealing situations, our internal lives can be enriched by the passage of time rather than being obliterated by it. I think we keep the bright things in our lives and the love we have for others and the love they have for us. I think we keep it always, through a thousand incarnations, into heaven or hell, whatever, these things are ours...they grow us, they sustain us, they are, for us, the core of creation (which is of course anti-entropy). I suppose that the dark things within us would conversely shrink us, and diminish us being a kind of internal entropy. But that is a focus-shift we really don't need.

Whatever you love and whatever or whoever loves you keeps you young, and keeps your soul alive throughout forever. Love what you love with all you have, because that is all you have. And life alone goes on (sola resurgit vita) but so do we.

Don't know why all this came out, hope it helps some, personally I think it is all worth the trouble, and I'm relatively sure I signed up for this course, and I live to see the sunrise over my mountain, and to hear the morning bird song beginning, and to see the smiles of those I love...what else is of worth in this life?

About a year ago I had the chance to see this dynamic in action in myself. We had a money situation where I felt we were unjustly being asked to foot a bill we had no reason to pay...long and short, we didn't pay it, as it really wasn't something we owed, and it made several people really unhappy, but they knew we didn't owe it either, they just didn't want to pay their own way. Regardless, the problem set up a conflict in me.

I decided I was going to build that swimming pool we'd always dreamed about. Prior to this, the idea had always been a pleasant reverie, how it might look, where it might go, etc. Now it became a nightmare. I began seriously thinking about all the logistics, electrical hookups, water needs and availability, kind of pool (building materials, contractors, design, shower, bath house, perhaps even an enclosed pool??). I became miserable and the thoughts of this desire born of frustration and aggrevation became nearly obsessive. I worried about this "need" and how I was going to afford it...later I realized that my suffering began when my dream became a desire bordering on need.

My real need was to establish and exert control over our own monies...a simple "no" was sufficient to this need...but I wanted to demonstrate the extent of my control. Luckily I realized this situation didn't require that I build this pool right now. When and if it gets built there will be ample time to tackle these details and perhaps I will then be ready to deal with them with less anxiety.

The illustration of this minor desire/suffering situation is simply indicative of the needless suffering we often create when our desires outpace our abilities, pocketbooks, and/or are not timely for resolution or acquisition. So often the things we worry about or think we need are simply desires that have outgrown their proper place and taken a priority that is not balanced or timely. Priorities help us keep things in perspective, and as I reviewed my priorities I realized that I did not need the pool, I simply wanted it, and for all the wrong reasons.

This freed me to look at my life and realize that everything was really just fine, and that all I needed to be happy was still here. If something seems to be absolutely necessary and is causing you sleepless nights, check your priorities and make sure it is necessary enough to warrant the suffering you are going through....sometimes it really is, but often you simply want something that won't make you one bit happier, and will only cause you grief.

God, a Boxed Set

As is not unusual, this morning I have been contemplating our concepts about God. I began to wonder if, indeed, we do not stray the farthest from God in our inspection of him (or her, not meaning to offend). It seems, to use an analogy, when we move farther from the artist in our criticism, positive or otherwise, then when we simply appreciate the color, brush strokes, and magnitude of his work. When you look at a painting and think "wow, that's beautiful", perhaps you are closer to the artists feelings and the artist as a person then you would be to inspect the painting minutely and then with some education and experience behind you, make comment. This is how children look at the world, simply. A thing is beautiful, or it is not. Perhaps that too figures into Christ's "let the little children come unto me...for unless you come as a little child, you cannot enter the kingdom of heaven"?

Continuing with this studied observation, which by my own words convicts me of being farther from the subject of my observations...of course in order to get a better view...but still, I fear I will have to ingest my own words here. While I am digesting my own phraseology, I also wonder if part of our problem with God is that we feel we have to understand him. We often see God as an old king on his throne...I wonder if he gets bored in the form we try to harden around him? What if God took the form of a 6 year old girl, picking flowers in a field and singing to herself. Would you not simply pass by with little thought while still searching for that old guy on the throne? I probably would, and much is the pity.

The boxes we use to partition, divide, distill, define and understand God are the very things which seperate us the most from his presence. I'm not saying these constructs aren't useful, but they are artificial, and when talking about the numinous, essentially unreal. Again with analogy, doesn't thinking about the chemical constituency of your food or the cup of coffee at your right (or left, not to disenfranchise the lefties among us) somehow lessen the enjoyment of the item? So perhaps it is with God. In trying to distill God into an essence we can comprehend, we necessarily reduce God to a point at which he could not be God.

Thus if a hologram is cut into many pieces all reflect the whole, as with us, our very cells tell all the available information about who we are physically, thus God also exists in all things is entire, but is inseperable from those things, just as some chemicals will simply not come out of solution because of the bonding that occurs when they have been combined, rather than a solution you have a new item that cannot be distilled. Thus God cannot be distilled from this universe because his presence is the basic building block upon which it is constructed, and has become indivisible from it. You may see all of God in a flower, but you cannot distill him from it or reduce him to simply that thing because you cannot seperate him from his creation, neither is he completely defined by those creations.

All thoughts as I wind my winsome way to work. Oh, I suppose I should provide some kind of conclusion here. Simply, there are ways to think about God which while providing definition, perhaps are not so confining...for instance Anselms Proof...we agree that to be God, God must be omniscient, omnipresent, omnipotent, etc...This of course does not imply beneficence...you must assume that on faith, or not [Adler]. (note: I am not defending the conclusion of Anselms proof...as I can think of Pink Elephants and that does not seem to imply that they therefore do exist...although it might imply that they could exist, I am simply agreeing that all but the final condition of his proof are useful criteria for understanding the nature of God) Billy Graham has an interesting sermon on things that God cannot do (I couldn't find a copy of Dr. Graham's sermon, but here is an article that essentially says the same thing.)...ie: god cannot lie (because he is truth), he cannot disobey his own laws (not to mean that WE in any way understand the REAL physical nature of the universe, or the spiritual nature of it either), etc. Perhaps these tools are somewhat useful in understanding or defining God, much else is anthropomorphic and essentially erroneous to my feeling. Still, it seems that we often reduce God to the point that he cannot be God anymore because we have defined, dissected, distilled so much that we have spoiled his (or her) effectiveness in our lives by assuming too great an understanding of the numinous. Let us not forget that one of Gods greatest powers is the power of mystery and myth, things that contribute both to our understanding and our awe.

1/26/99
Y2K Thoughts


Ok, here we are, back to some serious meandering...you know, it's damn hard to write drivel, if it is not to your taste, or if you aren't getting paid to do so. This Y2K thing has gotten me thinking about what life might have been like a hundred years or so ago. No power tools, no automobiles, lots and lots of hard work if you wanted to eat. There were no tractors to plow the earth...only you and an old mule that would prefer biting you on the butt to having to pull a peice of iron through the untilled earth.

The disturbing thing is not whether human beings could survive the fall of civilization, because the species would most certainly survive that. (Not that Y2K is likely to be much more than a major inconvenience and a major decline in the stock market). The difficult problem here is that we lack all the survival skills necessary to succeed at 19th century life. Not that our survival instincts are any less sharp, we know things about survival that our ancestors never knew. We know how to avoid being mugged in Manhattan (not being in Manhattan is my favorite mugging avoidance technique), we can use microwave ovens, computers, gas grills (my favorite back to basics appliance...I AM OZ!!! ) and television sets with absolute expertise, but very few of us know anything about digging a well, priming a pump, building a cabin, or even how to snare a rabbit (much less skinning it and cooking it!!)

I hope that Y2K is just a bump in the road, a wink of the lights on New Years Eve, a very subtle reminder of what could have happened, and might yet occur in our future. Yet if we could prepare, wouldn't it be a different world without the ubiquitous television blaring out commercials, without the sound of automobiles, without the constant buzz of technology...perhaps our children could learn to work hard and find fulfillment in their efforts, perhaps we might once again tell stories by the fire, and make our own music, wonder at the stars, and eat the fruit of our own labor. For all the suffering that might be, perhaps there would be something in the return to the need to rely upon each other again, and the need to be self-reliant. How proud and thankful we would be if having come through all the adversity we could say that we had made it work. We would certainly appreciate technology if and when it re-emerged, yet we would never trust it again to be infalliable. So if it does come to pass, perhaps in the cloud of our own shortsightedness there is a sliver lining, a thing to be done, a quest to persue, a life to rebuild, and a hope to carry on to its rediscovery...and in reinventing our technology, perhaps we will redesign it to make a little more room for ourselves, and our families, our friends, our churches, our earth, and our God.


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On the Nature of Responsibility
02/08/99

Back to the meaning of life, the universe, and everything... I've been thinking about the nature of responsibility and it's relationship with character, most particularly those things we call cardinal virtues. Any breakdown within the web of virtuosity, or in the area of responsibility, it seems, eventually negatively impacts the whole. This is why so many so called virtuous people have such great downfalls, for the breakdown in one area must be covered up, denied, and yet secretly cherished. This necessitates a lot of lying to one's self, and a lot of ethical manuvering resulting in the eventual loss of direction and the abandonment of the truth. Responsible people know where their duties lie. They have to have their finger on the pulse of many things, their outer practice of doing their duties (work, kids, etc.), their inner truth (making sure there are no dark corners inside for foolishness or lies to grow. Know thyself). And their outward seeming...for in this world, seeming is being.
For instance: if a good, well-meaning person has a drinking problem, first they will excuse it (the job, the wife, the kids, the bills) later, as they come to feel internally that there is a real problem, they will begin denying the problem altogether, thus they begin to believe the excuses they have given their friends, and they swallow their own lies. This is not a conscious process. It can be used as a template for adultery, drug addiction, you name it, the process is similar.

We all do this from time to time, about small things. We feel we are owed some little thing, a candy bar (when we are watching our weight); 15 minutes extra at lunch on the clock (I work hard enough, they owe me); an extra beer (even though we are planning to drive home, and if they catch us we may spend the night in a hotel room with bars.)

These are things we do often enough. And they are the things that teach us to lie to ourselves. The real point is nobody owes you anything. Conversely you owe everybody everything. Now how do I arrive at that...ok most can accept that no one owes them anything. So, we will skip that one...you expected that I would say the reciprocal statement instead of a complimentary one...that really isn't the way it works if you are to be responsible. There are limits to what you owe...those limits are different for everyone, but essentially, whatever you owe to others should not endanger your ability to keep up with primary responsibilities, so prioritizing your life is an essential activity. For instance I may owe my church a great deal for providing me with guidance, and hope, a place to worship, etc. But if they require my presence every night then it adversely impacts on at least one, if not more, of my primaries...my family (and probably my garden, and my livestock). ie: if you run a dairy you must milk the cows, first priority in your life, period. So you have to know what is really important.

Again you owe everybody everything. You owe your employer whatever you contracted, as they must hold up their end of the contract, if either defaults, your employment is over, whatever else happens. You owe your parents for whatever they gave you for however long, and if the love between you is untainted with anything truely bad (ie: real abuse as opposed to discipline, for example), then you owe them a debt that cannot be paid...and so your responsibility is simply to love, honor and help them as they grow older. Likewise with children, we have to love, discipline and teach them, and as they grow older we are still doing those things, in differing ways...we owe them our moral and advisory support always. Our friends deserve our compassion, and our moral support; and our neighbors need the sweat of our brows occasionally, as we need theirs.

Responsibility is a lifestyle choice. It affects your everyday life, your spiritual life, your family life, and your social life. Fully responsible people are always as honest with themselves as possible, and as honest with others as is reasonable. In effect to be responsible is to aprehend the virtues of honesty and hard work and to incorporate them into your life to the extent that they define your daily existance, they govern your interaction with others, and they help prioritize your duties, manage your time, and give back to you the feelings of accomplishment and duties fulfilled.



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Forgiveness

What is the nature of forgiveness? Are there conditions for forgiveness? Is there such a thing as conditional forgiveness?
Forgiveness, I think, is something experienced and understood by the very nature of that experience. The full understanding of the act of forgiveness outside the experience is essentially impossible. But we are here to attempt some kind of definitive process.

Primarily, what is forgiveness. The best explanation is perhaps that of getting a traffic ticket...you did it, you know it, you have a good driving record, you're sorry about it, you petition the court to overlook the ticket. This is usually called throwing oneself on the mercy of the court. thr result being essentially, go home, and don't do it again. No penalty, no nothing.This is forgiveness. This is much the same as the view of salvation from a Christian perspective. From this arises the question of pre-requisites. Forgiveness, I think, has certain non-negotiable pre-requisites. The person wanting forgiveness has to be sorry for their deeds. Could they fake it, sure, but the forgiveness they receive is immeasurably less fulfilling and is, at best, incomplete. Also forgiveness requires that one cease practicing the wrong for which they needed/wanted forgiveness. For to persist in ones folly is to have received a reprieve at best, and to return to the committing of the self-same crime is to invite summary judgement again. Forgiveness, in its pure form, changes both the one who receives forgiveness and the one who gives it. In any lesser form forgiveness becomes a conditional and time-limited thing, and ceases to be forgiveness at all, and becomes, instead, a stay of judgement, a parole of sorts, or even meaningless altogether. ( ie: someone who is only sorry that they got caught; someone who has every intention of returning to their old ways; the ungrateful; the unappreciative).

To this point I have only postulated what forgiveness is (ie: a free gift if received in the right spirit), what one needs to do to receive it (have clean hands (contrition and forswearing the act)... nobody gives a gift to someone with dirty hands, take the gift, and unwrap it, and appreciate what you have been given.)

Think of it this way, when you scold your child, do you not want them to UNDERSTAND that what they did was wrong? And when they ask forgiveness and you know that they feel bad because they did something that was displeasing to you, don't you feel that they have learned their lesson? This, I think, is the criteria for forgiveness...both the heavenly and as above below, the earthly form. Actually the biblical formula, in a condensed version is contrition (broken-ness/sorrow at the deed), repentance (forswearing the deed), and absolution (the ERASING of the deed). Why should we think it would operate among human beings any differently? Actually, even if you prefer to dismiss the religious significance of this text, consider the psychological implications. Most of the time you can tell when someone is insincere. The act of forgiving an insincere person is meaningless (obviously to them, other than it means that they got away with their misdeed.), and also it is less meaningful to the one forgiving, for they recieve empty thanks, rather than appreciation. Ah, so forgiveness has a price. Yes, it always did, the price of being forgiven is love. It always was. Those who have truly received forgiveness love those who forgave them, those who have not, do not love the one who forgave them, in fact, they usually despise the forgiver, mainly because they had to admit their guilt but still feel justified within themselves. The price of forgiveness is the same from both sides, it is love. For the forgiver it is love enough to defray the damage to dignity, and the desire for revenge, love enough to sustain and nurture a relationship that could have died. For the forgiven there must be love enough to swallow their pride, to lay bare their souls, and to bear whatever punishment might be doled out...for asking for forgiveness is a request...one cannot demand to be forgiven...it just doesn't work that way.

Well, perhaps that is enough for now...I have always felt that just as there are physical laws, thus there are spiritual ones which closely mimic each other... perhaps this one is "every action causes an equal and opposite reaction"? Thus the injury causes the need for forgiveness, and the forgiveness resets the entire mechanism.



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Deity Expressed as a Hologram
4/30/99

What are we that reside within these mortal shells, so intensely unique, so incredibly alone? What are we but the fertile imagination of God, taken with life, manifested in flesh? If you manufacture a thing of clay, is it not all clay? Is not every part clay, the common earth? If it is of earth, is not it also all common ground? And the elements themselves, periodic, or opposites, Xenon or fire, Hydrogen or water, are they not also of this common clay, this planet, galaxy, universe?
Where does the stuff of the universe come from, from what source does it emanate, from what source was was it removed? You are made of the stuff of the Creator; from his own side he removed his flesh and made you, your entire Being is a hologram of God. Each atom is a full picture, regardless of the number of electrons, it is all there. We twist that shape into many forms pleasing, and horrible, just as you can twist a piece of wire into a coathanger, an antenna, a piece of modern art or something useless, but still the basic source does not fade.

When we were sent here, we were not sent outside just to play, we were told to bring back something from our living afternoon and present it to our Father, for it was He that sent us out for a romp this day. What shall we bring back? I see some return with full purses and empty hearts, their afternoon lost in the pursuit of wealth all surrendered at the end of the day. I see a little girl in a blue dress, who has brought back a single buttercup and a memory of fields of buttercups, so bright that from her vantage point they out shone the sun. I see those that have spent their day in a selfish pursuit of pleasure without a thought for the trials of others, what can they bring back, their pockets full of shiny bits of pyrite, valueless vanities, and full wine cellars? I see an old man who has seen his comrades die, his children grow and fly the nest, his wife in her rocker, what will he bring? Bright memories of a loving home, and hard work and the sound of trout leaping in a brook.

How will our offerings be judged, for after all you have been told that you cannot take it with you, and as with many sayings it is a lie...you take it all with you, and your offering on that crystal shore' is you life, for it is all you have, and all you are. Imprinted on that hologram of God in your heart of hearts is every angry word, every small kindness, every cold shoulder, every misunderstanding and every heroic deed that you have perpetrated, shared or given to your brothers and sisters here in this brief moment we call life. Every god you can call by name would require of you the sum of your life. What will you bring back?




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Religious Tolerance and the Absence Thereof
11/08/99


Topical Events for this week comes from the news in Asheville: Well, it seems that they mayor had the bright idea of signing a proclamation making last week Earth Religions Awareness Week. All fine, well, and good...except that we live in the buckle of the Bible Belt. This thing was a no starter from the get go. First there were protests, then a request to recend, then a request to proclaim a day for Jesus. (I thought we had one...Christmas...but I must admit that one has gotten way out of hand...most people just see dollar signs.)
Moderate Clergy disagreed, and requested no proclamation be issued. This probably suited the mayor fine, as it was a proclamation that got her in hot water in the first place. In these parts things usually run like this: Do what you want, as long as it doesn't hurt anyone and you aren't too vocal about it and nobody will pay much attention.

The pagan community has existed beside the Christian communities here for quite a few years with notably few real problems. They usually claim Halloween in Asheville's square. There are a few people that protest, and probably a lot of folk up here that don't like it, but they leave it alone for the most part.

Mind you, I have no axes to grind here. The pagan community has the same right as any other religious community to worship as it pleases, and the same right to be recognized as a religious community. The fundamental Christian community has the right not to like their expression of faith, but not the right to stop it. Issuing the proclamation here was essentially the same as issuing White Supremacists Day in Harlem, because Fundamentalists would naturally see this as a call to arms, and I see it as treading into the Church/State separation area. We should not issue religious proclamations of any kind from a governmental office. Had this proclamation come from the pagan community itself without the stamp of mayoral approval, I venture to say nothing much would have happened.

The saddest part is the lady (a witch) who wanted to hand out candy to the kids in her daughters elementary school class. The school then barred all parents and volunteers from participating in Halloween parties. I think that this was done to placate the religious zealots that would have over-reacted to a real witch handing out candy to their kids. But in the melee, this lady was deprived of her rights as well. How would it have injured the kids? There are so many more important things in this world than protecting our children from other peoples ideas. If our children are never presented with ideas that are contrary to their belief system, then what happens as they grow older and get exposed as teenagers and young adults to new and attractive ideas that are contrary to their upbringing. In my humble opinion, a strong belief is a tested belief, and a strong society is a tolerant society.



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After the Crash

2/20/00

No metaphysics...just a dead hard drive and no way to fix it easily.
I've been thinking about how much I rely on computers. They help me with my work...in fact at this point it would be difficult to function without them. Occasionally a network connection will go down, a port will fail, an Internet connection at the state hub will crash.... and there I am without a COM link to all those databases I rely on. Deaf dumb and blind. When the hard drive crashed the other day, it kind of brought it home. Not just my reliance on technology, or my sometimes addiction to computing, but the amazing amount of time I have invested in the silicon god. I talk through it, learn from it, curse at it, and generally rely on it to allow me a window into a larger world of information unavailable to me otherwise. It is part Oracle, town crier, newspaper, and a strange ethereal and interactive beast of the silicon persuasion and it is everywhere. Barcodes, SSN's, UPC's are varieties of its signature, fingerprints of chaotic commerce assimilating order. The modems' plaintive wail is it's voice, and the insistent staccato pulse of the fax tone is the beating of its sandy heart. Does it stop? Can it stop? Cams pointed everywhere. Britain is full of cams...and a person can be followed for miles by remote camera. All that data...on you? Why? To help you be a better consumer, to help companies assess what you do, will, might consume, and assess how to change your consumer habits into those that would be most advantageous to the "company". Sheep in a horizonless silicon wasteland...where night never falls and morning never comes, although both are advertised. The silicon reality is a dead end. It makes us servitors of the machine, receptors of their will, fodder for Big Brother, big companies, and small minds with great ambitions for making money. Something is desperately wrong in our usage of the silicon world, and we are willing partners in the dissolution of our own world: the dissolution of our own relationships with flesh and blood people who want to share our lives; our responsibilities to our commitments at work, home, and elsewhere; Our children will be grown before we tire of the mouse and keyboard, and our pets muzzles grey waiting for us to push the off button. Things to think about while you are waiting for the next page to load.



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Encounter Group Rules

04/04/00

In the interest of familial peace and domestic tranquility I have decided to begin the Mythic Family Encounter Group. The purpose of the group is to fill the niche in our modern-eat in front of the cathode-ray tube lives that real unstructured conversation and communication once filled...before the bullcrap and the need to mindlessly stare at some electronic box feeding mindless drivel to the mindless masses. Therefore, beginning this evening and continuing once per week ad infinitum, the family and any and all guests or other hapless persons in attendance at the appointed time (whenever that is), will gather in a circle for no less than one and not exceeding 2 hours in length.
Groundrules for Encounter Gatherings

1. No problems are to be discussed. This is a forum for solutions not problems.

2. No one gets angry. No one accuses anyone of anything. No one is crabby in the circle. Crabby people will be tickled until they submit to a good humor, or reasonable semblance thereof.

3. The circle exists to promote communication, love and respect. In the pursuit of these things the circle facilitates relaxation and laughter. The circle serves no other purpose, though it may facilitate other meetings and communications.

4. Basic itenerary will include a space of time to stretch and relax the physical body and exercises to relax the ligiments of the spirit through sillyness and humor.

5. No one owns/controls the group...but Dad will make sure that the tone is kept light...so although there is no leader....Dad is the Sergeant-at-Arms....facilitators may vary.

6. Prior to circle we will make an attempt to get all that is necessary done...but no more than that....circle is more important than whatever it is you think you want or need to do...yes of course you may go to the bathroom.

7. This circle takes the place of the quarterly family meetings...later we may phase in a meeting every so often...meals may be taken in the circle, etc. The circle is flexible, changable, but inviolate.

8. Preparatory of the circle, no one should try to involve anyone in problems upon their arrival home. Forms may be signed, homework help requested, but conflicts will not be resolved prior to circle...circle is conflict resolution without conflict discussion.

9. Changing attitudes and perspectives is the long-range goal of encounter. No one should expect any change to be rapid, nor should they rely on encounter to make all changes they think necessary. Encounter is only a vehicle, not fuel or direction or purpose...simply a conveyance...you have to supply the map and gas yourself.




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Nature of Fear

04/28/00

This morning as I watched the gray rain clouds claw their way over the mountains I realized (again) what the real malady is that consumes, motivates and controls mankind as a species and as individuals. It is fear. Frank Herbert in his sic-fi series "Dune" brings focus to this reality in the Bene Gesserit mantra "Fear is the mindkiller...". And indeed it is just that. Fear, what YOU fear, kills the logical process causing a flight or fight response...whether this is actualized in the physical realm or simply in the mental.
To illustrate, my cousin once took a solo hike in the driving rain down into a gorge up here in the mountains...halfway down the trail he heard a great crack and a sound like a landslide. He ran away form the sound and having escaped, he went back to see what had happened. A huge tree had fallen and slid downslope completely obliterating the trail near where he had been standing. So the flight or fight response can be a lifesaver. It probably saved us from the same fate as the Dodo, but at times it is a two-edged sword.

Postulation: Whatever a person (or a nation/people/religion...) fears...it is this that controls them...it has them by the short hairs.

corollary: Whoever knows what a person fears, knows what can motivate that person.

corollary: Whoever can initiate or manipulate a fear based action on the part of the fearful ultimately controls the behavior of the individual.

Thus terrorism, extortion, revenge, hate crimes, you name it, and by any name it is still fear.

Often we worry (a form of constant fear) about things we cannot resolve, ie: why the kid wants to go live with the other parent (fear of loss of control, fear perhaps that the child doesn't love you very much, perhaps fear for their safety, fear of the loss and being alone, fear of change); or perhaps you fear losing your financial stability (fear of losing your home, your things, your job, etc.) These things can control you and cause you to act in ways that are not in your best interest, not in your families best interest, unethical, or illegal...whatever...this is where it starts...fear. I was thinking about those times when we see the proverbial self fulfilling prophesy occur...the thing you fear happens...why...why does it happen. In some cases, I wonder if our subconscious mind, in it's childlike simplicity, does not make it happen. Seeing the irresolvable issue, sensing that the stress factor is tearing you apart...the subconscious sets up a scenario where by the proverbial sword of Damocles can go ahead and fall...thus the tension is resolved...of course then you have different problems...but you are no longer afraid of that which was hanging over your head...as it is now lodged squarely between your shoulder blades. Sometimes, the fallen sword does little damage and you lose your fear, and pick up the peices and make everything alright...sometimes it is disastrous. How to see the sword, and cut it down from over your head without injury...that's the ticket. It seems the first step would be to find out what it is that causes the fear/worry and deal with it directly. Sometimes we are simply afraid of our shadows...sometimes things of substance...either way we are more in control by knowing our enemy than by feeling certain that we are being pursued and spending our lives running from fear itself.

Just a few thoughts threading my way to work while wondering why I do some of the things I do, and wondering why you do some of the things you do...